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Sunday 30 September 2012


One of the most difficult moments on the Freedom Programme comes when we realize that he has never loved us. However the positive side to that comes when we learn that this is not personal. Dominators hate all women. He would have abused any woman he was with. All dominators hate women. That is why they abuse us.
They do not do it because it is our fault, or because they are alcoholics, or stressed or mentally ill, or sex addicts or unemployed or overworked or insecure. All these BOLLOXOGY  excuses are dangerous rubbish. If we believe for example that he is abusive because he is an alcoholic we may stay with him and even join a support group. We may therefore end up as one of the 3 women who are murdered by a dominator every 3 days.

Friday 21 September 2012




Any woman should be able to phone the contact numbers on my web site and be told where and when the next session is taking place and whether crèche facilities are available. I do not endorse intrusive questions, referrals or risk assessments.


Women must be actively welcomed to the programme.


We never give advice or tell any woman that she should leave. If it were so easy we would have all left.


Judgemental statements such as ‘I would never let anyone do that to me’ or ‘this has never happened to me’ are not acceptable.


Facilitators refer to all women as ‘us’ and never use the dreaded words ‘These Women’.


These programmes are only for the women who attend them. I do not endorse the presence of observers.


Ideally every woman who attends should be given a copy of the book, ‘Living with the Dominator’ and the supplement ‘The Freedom Programme Home Study Course’ as soon as she arrives. This will enhance her learning. Clearly she will know if it is safe to take these publications home or to leave them in a folder with the facilitator. 


This programme lasts for 12 x 90 minute sessions. It is a rolling programme so women who attend can miss a session and do it later  when they are ready. Some women can take years to complete it.  Session 4 is about the ‘Effects of Domestic Abuse on Children. It is repeated in session 8. Facilitators who only want to run this once can shorten the programme to 11 weeks.