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Wednesday 21 May 2014

Commonly used excuses for murdering women.

From 'Living with the Dominator' by Pat Craven

The Liar uses minimisation
He uses certain words to make it all sound less than it was. “It was only a slap. It was only a push. It was just a joke. We were only playfighting. It’s six of one and half a dozen of the other. She gives as good as she gets. I only hit her when she is drunk.”
He lies about what happened
"I mistook her for a burglar!"
“I had to restrain her because she was hysterical. I thought she was going to hurt herself or the children. She fell and hurt herself. She bruises easily. She was drunk and fell over. I was not using sexual violence. I have a huge libido; I need sex all the time.”
“I was defending myself. I am the victim here. Where did she get those bruises? Who did that to her? It certainly was not me. Someone must have broken in and attacked her in the night. We quarrelled.”
He lies about why it happened. He blames everything, and everyone, except himself.
“I was drunk and don’t remember a thing. I always have a bad reaction when I drink spirits. I had taken too much heroin or cocaine and it made me aggressive. It always does. I also had a bad reaction to my prescribed medication.”
“I suffer from this medical condition which makes me lash out in my sleep. I don’t know I am doing it.”
“She made me so very angry. She pushed my buttons. She wound me up! I have a short fuse and just lost it! She nagged me until I just lost it! The red mist came down and I was so angry that I blacked out. I just snapped.”
“She is mentally ill and it is so difficult to live with her. Now and then I just lash out from sheer frustration.”
“The strain of living with a handicapped child finally got to me. The strain of caring for a disabled woman finally got to me. She is such a bad mother that the children suffer because of her. “
“She is the violent one. I am the victim. I need some help. There should be refuges for abused men. Who is going to help me?”
“She is a slag. She made me do it because she was having an affair. She was having an affair and she left me and I was heartbroken. I only did it because I love her. I was out of my mind with jealousy! She deserved it. She had it coming.”
“I had a terrible childhood. I suffer from Gulf War Syndrome. I am insecure. I have low self-esteem. My mother abused me. My ex-wife was such a bitch and a slag that I find it impossible to trust women.”
“I am suffering from anxiety. I am on four different kinds of medication for my stress. “I had a migraine.”
“I am autistic. I suffer from attention deficit syndrome. I suffer from Tourette’s syndrome. I have a borderline personality disorder. I suffer from Othello syndrome (morbid jealousy). I suffer from an obsessive compulsive behaviour disorder.”
“I have been working too hard. I am unemployed. My team lost. I have learning difficulties.”