Wednesday 15 January 2014
Another Thank you for Freedom
I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for designing the freedom programme and empowering women, like myself, who have had their power taken away.
It was three years since I had left my abusive ex and I thought I had a handle on things. Although with hindsight he was still using the children to manipulate me. Then after a contact visit my 4 year old came back and told me that her father had touched her inappropriately. I was devastated.
My lovely health visitor recommended the freedom programme as a means of support and also as a way of gaining perspective on the events both recent and in the past.
It allowed me to finally forgive myself for "allowing" the abuse to happen to me. It has also helped me to get through the hideous civil court process, which seems intent on protecting the perpetrator's parental rights at the cost of my children's wellbeing.
I feel all social workers and judges should attend courses like yours so they can recognise the truth rather than believing manipulative, controlling liars.
Unfortunately in my case it is looking likely that the court will award my ex supported contact sessions, recommended by social services, as there was no evidence of the sexual abuse he inflicted on my daughter and it is only her word against his.
However, thanks to you I feel so much stronger than I did before and can recognise all his behaviour patterns: for example when he lies about his past abusive behaviour and tries to convince the court I have somehow coached my children to say things about him, and makes sure he "accidentally" gets my name wrong in court. I found myself sitting in court thinking to myself this is the bad-parent, this is the liar, this is the persuader etc. Almost like it was "the quiz"!
I now know that regardless of what the future may hold he will never have control over me again.
So thanks again and know how much your work touches the lives of women like me.