Sexual assault by an anaesthetist

Last spring I heard from a woman who was sexually assaulted by an anaesthetist when she was unconscious in a private hospital. She was waiting for an operation on her collar bone. He also administered a date rape drug. As a result she was confused for about 5 days and did not report it to the police. She challenged the hospital management but they denied anything had happened. She knew she had been assaulted because she was injured. She thinks he may have used an object.
We were wondering how many other women have experienced this. If it is widespread we can start a campaign.
Pat

Finally free!!!

Dear Pat,

Firstly I would like to say a MASSIVE THANK YOU for the Freedom Programme, it has changed my life. I had already left my husband when the police officer dealing with my case suggested your programme. I was struggling with guilt at this poor man that seemed full of remorse after beating up my son in December 2009. It was close to the first court case and, after months of stalking and harassment, he was finally jailed for breaking his bail conditions. He had sent a 19 page letter to my friends. They were amazing. Most of them were there when he broke my jaw several years previous and all relieved that I had the guts to remove him from MY house. It took him beating up my son to give me the strength to stay away. For some reason he justified it whenever I was on the receiving end, but I could not forgive him for hurting my son.

I am almost divorced from him. As I work I have to pay for court fees etc and couldn't afford them, so he is divorcing me. Am sure he is very happy at that because it proves he was wronged by me. I just want the final part of my life back. He gets legal aid as he is not working and spent several times and many months in prison. Hmmmm! My solicitor has managed to get most police reports / hospital reports into the divorce as we are currently waiting for the financial hearing (17th October) He expects a huge amount of money from me. He omitted the damage he caused to MY house (bought by me years before I met him, he controlled the finances and left me in debt.)

Anyway, I am sending this to you in case you can use it. If it helps just one woman change her life, then that is brilliant. My cup is more than half full, I have amazing friends / family and just about to start a fantastic new job. I am still single, 3 years on, but that is my choice. If I see the warning signs I run in the opposite direction. I have also been working on me, finding out who I am, what I like and, most importantly for me, being the mum I knew I always was. I have 4 amazing children between the ages of 16 and 23. I am so proud because it could have been horrible for them but we have had nearly 3 years of giggles, laughter, fun, love and happiness. Its been a struggle at times but thats life!

Love and happiness to all

BOLLOXOGY

One of the most difficult moments on the Freedom Programme comes when we realize that he has never loved us. However the positive side to that comes when we learn that this is not personal. Dominators hate all women. He would have abused any woman he was with. All dominators hate women. That is why they abuse us.
They do not do it because it is our fault, or because they are alcoholics, or stressed or mentally ill, or sex addicts or unemployed or overworked or insecure. All these BOLLOXOGY  excuses are dangerous rubbish. If we believe for example that he is abusive because he is an alcoholic we may stay with him and even join a support group. We may therefore end up as one of the 3 women who are murdered by a dominator every 3 days.

MISSION STATEMENT FOR FREEDOM PROGRAMME

MISSION STATEMENT FOR THE FREEDOM PROGRAMME.

 

Any woman should be able to phone the contact numbers on my web site and be told where and when the next session is taking place and whether crèche facilities are available. I do not endorse intrusive questions, referrals or risk assessments.

 MISSION STATEMENT FOR FREEDOM PROGRAMME

Women must be actively welcomed to the programme.

 

We never give advice or tell any woman that she should leave. If it were so easy we would have all left.

 

Judgemental statements such as ‘I would never let anyone do that to me’ or ‘this has never happened to me’ are not acceptable.

 

Facilitators refer to all women as ‘us’ and never use the dreaded words ‘These Women’.

 

These programmes are only for the women who attend them. I do not endorse the presence of observers.

 

Ideally every woman who attends should be given a copy of the book, ‘Living with the Dominator’ and the supplement ‘The Freedom Programme Home Study Course’ as soon as she arrives. This will enhance her learning. Clearly she will know if it is safe to take these publications home or to leave them in a folder with the facilitator. 

 

This programme lasts for 12 x 90 minute sessions. It is a rolling programme so women who attend can miss a session and do it later  when they are ready. Some women can take years to complete it.  Session 4 is about the ‘Effects of Domestic Abuse on Children. It is repeated in session 8. Facilitators who only want to run this once can shorten the programme to 11 weeks.

USA book sales

Thanks to Rachael’s efforts on twitter we are now selling Living With .. and the Home Study… in the USA

Quality Control

If women complete the Freedom Programme on line or do the Home Study Course they will be in a better position to judge the quality of any programme they attend.

On line programme

About 2 years ago a woman in the Scottish Highlands telephoned me. She was an American university lecturer. Her Scottish Dominator persuaded her to join him in his home in the mountains and she them became a virtual prisoner. He allowed her to go to the library for 2 hours a week to change his library books. She phoned me from there. I posted ‘Living with the Dominator’ to the library. I then realised that I needed to make the Freedom Programme accessible to all women in her position. I have also been contacted by women who had asked their social workers to help them to join the Freedom Programme only to be told that they were not ‘ready’ to join. I wrote the ‘Home Study Course’ to reach all women in their position and now I have the on line programme. I am delighted that I can now offer choices to all women whose lives may be saved.